post A

okay, the last post was written while i was still under A. Hence, utterly unimpressive.(plus I'm not good at prose anyway) Ive decided to let it be, and not edit/refurbish it. The experience was scary and at the end of it all, i was superbly exhausted : passed out for 16 hrs straight.

sweet tooths - BEWARE!

parabolas I've been riding man! and the peaks are wwwaaaayyyy apart from the troughs. its almost insane, only that you know whats going on, and you're almost in full control. you feel superbly confident to even slaughter, let alone other petty stuff that would make you crap your pants otherwise.

Psychedelic. now i truly know what it means.now i know what those colours are about.now i know what those flowy flowers are.....they're all over the place! crystal clear- even when you have your eyes shut.
You are alive with a capital A alright.... but so is every thing around you. from tables to walls to trees...everything has a mind of its own. i had trees reaching out to me , calling to me as they gestured. concrete walls looked liquid ... flowy! i touched em and they had ripples in em,but they felt solid.
things that are metres away from you, seem in reach and you try for hours to grab them-in vain.
you cant sit still....you HAVE to move....you feel scared of being swallowed by the ground if you sit or be still.

This lasts for long.
but when it wares off....you take a plunge...a plunge deeper from where u started...deeper than you've ever been.at this stage, its like every one's conspiring against you..especially ones you love.you trust no-one.you'll be sitting by now- only sitting-sitting still. staring at the rotating fan above you. you're contemplating, but thoughts just whizz past your conscience- you're constantly chasing them- you just cant hold on for long enough for your thoughts to make sense.
You feel like a lump.wasted.worthless.miniscule..... and looking back to those hours....i was every bit of what I've mentioned here....i was pure lump. just lying there.
this lasts long too.
longer than the high....but when it wares off....don't think it to be the end.

Just when you talk yourself out of this depression you feel like you just washed down a dozen cans of red bull.superbly energetic....maybe aggressive as well.I took a swim during this time. being a good swimmer, my capacity to swim at a stretch is about 500 mts, freestyle. but under influence of these dozen red bulls, i swam for 2 hours continuously. taking few, short breaks. took countless laps of the 50mt pool, and was still raring to go after i got outta the pool.
you're emotionless during this high....only energetic.

i guess i have another dip to go before I'm back to normal....and am on my way....I'm dreading the dip....nothing is scarier than yourself.
i have another sugar cube on me right now....and i can very well take it to prevent the dip....... but i wonder if i should....maybe i will.....but if i do....then I'm done for....since this cycle is endless.

(WAR) Man down

My life does a passing
as i lid it thrice
in pain.

My breath soaked
in full colour
-Raw

Pungence puddled around me,
for the ground i lay on ,
is saturated with the pain
of all my kind.

I see those eyes.
Gazing down
-Glistening.